Welcome to all the Super Bowl haters! You’re safe here.

On the hunt for a way to stream the Super Bowl online? Mosey on over to this piece for quality advice about watching the “big game.”

OK, now that it’s just us, go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back. You feel like you’re better than the unwashed masses, and why wouldn’t you? Sports are low-key boring, and there’s a litany of reasons not to love the National Football League, from the NFL’s record on disability payments to team mascots that disrespect Native Americans.

Who even cares if the Chiefs beat the Packers on Sunday? (The Packers aren’t in the Super Bowl. It’s actually the Eagles, but I’m all for feigning obliviousness.) If there’s anything this testosterone-fueled holiday gets right, it’s the snacks. So go ahead and grab a big bag of chips, a 57-layer cheese dip, and a cold drink. Maybe even some of those little smokies! We’ve rounded up seven entertainment alternatives to the Super Bowl for your oh-so-refined palate.

“Video game adaptation” and “prestige TV” are not phrases often uttered in the same breath, but The Last of Us series is redefining expectations for the genre. It’s got everything: an adorably gruff Pedro Pascal, an unruly teenager who loves to cuss, a devastating third episode where Nick Offerman plays a queer survivalist. New episodes drop weekly on HBO Max.

Show me the gadget guts! The iFixit crew is all about DIY repairs, but you’re missing out if you only go to their YouTube channel when your smartphone screen is cracked. Their gadget teardown videos reveal the everyday hardware hidden from view. What’s really inside the Meta Quest Pro or the Samsung Z Flip or the Steam Deck? I could watch this stuff for hours.

Did you get a Disney+ subscription so your kids could watch Moana or Turning Red? Take some time to dig into the service’s movie collection for gems like Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and Free Solo. A documentary that’s not for those who are afraid of heights, Free Solo follows climber Alex Honnold as he ascends Yosemite’s El Capitan with no safety ropes.

If you’ve seen the TikTok memes and Saturday Night Live sketch but have not yet watched the M3GAN movie, do it. An experimental robot is tasked with protecting a vulnerable girl after the death of her parents. What could possibly go wrong! The movie is campy, offbeat, and now available to rent. Even as someone who’s notorious for falling asleep on the couch, I can say rolling credits on M3GAN was the easiest thing I’ve done all year.

Valentine’s Day is so, so cringe. Like seriously. Lean into the cringiness of it all with one of my favorite series on YouTube, a speed dating show from The Cut. Singles sit down at a nondescript table and make small talk until a red button lights up between them. If either person chooses to push the button, their partner is immediately switched out for someone else. Essentially, it’s MTV’s Next for the YouTube generation. No one’s really finding true love on The Button, but the awkwardness is strangely satisfying to watch.

Still have an Apple TV Plus subscription after streaming the first season of Severance? The latest show on Apple’s service that’s worth watching is Shrinking, a dramedy starring Jason Segel as a therapist who tries a more direct approach with clients as he processes grief. Created by Segel and two of the people behind Ted Lasso, the show has a warm heart under all the interpersonal issues.

Often called the “Super Bowl of drag” by queer fans who haven’t watched a football game in over a decade, RuPaul’s Drag Race is the closest thing to a sport my household enjoys. Catch up on all the stunning costumes and bitter fights by visiting the MTV website and logging in with credentials from your TV provider. (There’s a free, one-day pass for cord cutters who are down for a binge-watch.) If only I could place FanDuel bets on Sasha Colby snatching this season’s crown.